Friends...

…are overrated. Or so is the conclusion that I had arrived at a little while ago.

No, I don’t hold this view anymore. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends I could have ever asked for. In fact, when I come home I feel like I don’t even have enough time to see all of them. And there lies the problem. Yes, I have friends up in Seattle, I have a few wonderful friends. But the majority of my friends are scattered all over the place. Only during large holidays are we all in one place and able to reconnect.

I know that it life. You have friends who come and go. But thats the problem. It’s not that friends come and go, it’s that the friendships with them are in and out. Distance is hard. We all stay so busy. It’s hard to nurture the friendships I want to be able to nurture. I feel like most of the time I know the people I want to invest in so badly, but don’t do a good job at investing until I’m in the moment, in their presence. When I spend so much of my time apart from the people I care about the most, it makes things hard.

But, no matter what happens in life during the time that has passed, I still have these amazing people to connect with when we all return to our hometown. I value that so much. I’m blessed. And I love having these people in my life.

Empty

I feel empty.

Completely aware of the gaping void in my soul.

The void that can only be filled by God.

The hole had been covered over by different things in my life, things that only masked the need for something to fill it all the way to the deep.

But now, it’s there. Fully open and I’m once again aware of the pressing need to let myself be filled.

I desperately need to be filled by God, before different things in my life come and hide the urgency of the matter, again.

Lord, I’m tired of this emptiness in my soul. Please come fill me. Completely. Don’t allow me to let other things mask my intense need for you.

The end.....kinda

So I'm thinking I'm not going to be using this blog as much anymore. I transferred things over to wordpress and am going to give that a shot. So I will be mainly using my wordpress and tumblr from now on. Sp for those of you who care to still follow me:

followingafterfaith.wordpress.com
lifeinthismoment.tumblr.com

Sigh.....

Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.

Freud

I'm tired...

Tired of watching people I love hurt
Tired of seeing people I love in pain
Tired of living life in an environment of anxiety and frustration
Tired of living in fear of the future
Tired of living moment to moment not even knowing what the next minute could bring

Lord, please come soon
But while you still tarry, please give me the strength to hold on for five more minutes at a time
For You, because You are Worth it.

Most likely to....

• move to a foreign country while running from the law
• become a groupie
• marry a nerd
• save the world

Oh what my floor things of me.....
I'm going to miss these days.

The Bus is Coming

A wonderful reflection on life by one of the people who has taught me the most about life and hardship and faith, Eric Williamson.

There's a lot of really bad things going on these days:


- Many folks are either out of work, or facing the prospect of losing their job.
- Home foreclosures are on the rise.
- Debt, both personal and national, keeps piling up.
- The cost of just about everything is higher than it was just a few months ago.
- So many people I know are struggling with the loss of loved ones or through monstrous health issues.
- The government's role in all of this is of grave concern to many in the country.

Seriously, many people are facing stressors in their life that they've never had to face before; or even dreamed of having to face before. That has the added effect of putting more strain on relationships all over the place, and it wouldn't be a surprise if there's an uptick in divorce rates that matches all the recent crises.
I've been talking about this with a number of people recently and it's pretty clear that nearly everybody has some pretty serious worries about all the things going on around us. I figured y'all are no different, so I wanted to share something I was telling my mom on the way to work the other day.
She was expressing her concern over something - I think it was the latest proposal in D.C. from one of our illustrious leaders, and she was getting a bit worked up over it (that's where I get it, by the way!). So I told her what her situation was like -
Our situation is like when you're sitting at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to come along. While you're sitting there, a number of men saunter up and take up station a few yards away, talking to each other. They have dark clothes and sunglasses on, even though it's almost dark, and their hair is stringy and they have (gasp!) tattoos. They're amongst the most unsavory characters you've ever laid eyes on, and they keep glancing over at you. Feeling helpless and defenseless yet?
You take a peek up the street, but there's no sign of the bus. You glance back at the hoodlums, and they've edged a bit closer without seeming to. Are they going to beat you up? Maybe they're going to mug you and take your wallet. Or maybe they're even not afraid to kill you. You wonder when the bus is coming, but you can't see it up the street at all.
When I got to this point in the story, I paused. There was a painful silence on the phone, so I said "that's where you are right this minute, Mom!" Not to put too fine a point on it, but Mom basically said "Huh? What are you talking about?" (although she was much more polite about it than I would have been). So I said "Let me 'splain, Lucy". That's my best Ricky Ricardo imitation, by the way...
I explained to her that she (and you, and I) are sitting on the bus stop, and the unsavory things in life are edging closer and closer, and we have no idea what intentions they might have for us. For all we know, those guys could sidle up to us and stick a knife in our ribs, or hold us up, or pound us into little pieces; or they could come close and say "Pardon us, but can we tell you about the four spiritual laws?" for all I know - and we have no real control over any of it. But one thing we know for sure is this - the bus is coming. We may not be able to see it from here, and the more worried we get about the situation, the more late the bus seems to be; but it's coming. That's the one thing you can count on in this place - one of these days, the bus is gonna roll up to the curb, and the Driver is going to get out and help us on board, and pluck us right out of the midst of these dark and dreary circumstances we're in, and put us on the bus and take us where we want to go. He may come just in the nick of time, and save the day just before the bad guys leap; He may show up after the fists start flying and rescue us from taking a lot of punishment; or He might show up after the wallet is gone and the blood is seeping onto the sidewalk, and gently pick us up and get us on the bus; but the bus is coming.

So quit focusing on the gang on the corner. Turn your eyes up the street and keep a lookout for the bus, because it's coming.

The bus is coming.