Sabbath

Sabbath is taking a day a week to remind myself that I did not make the world and that it will continue to exist without my efforts.

Sabbath is a day when my work is done, even if it isn’t.

Sabbath is a day when I am fully available to myself and those I love most. 

Sabbath is a day when I remember that when God made the world, He saw that it was good.

Sabbath is a day when I produce nothing. 

Sabbath is a day when I remind myself that I am not a machine. 

Sabbath is a day when my phone is turned off, I don’t check my email, and you can’t get ahold of me.

Jesus wants to heal our souls, wants to give us the shalom of God. And so we have to stop. We have to slow down. We have to sit still and stare out the window and let the engine come to an idle. (Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis)

I need this rest in my life. I need to take those times to just stop, and breathe, and not think at a million miles an hour, but let God speak. I fill my life so full, most of the time with things that are good. But sometimes I just have to think…the things I’m trying to do with my life are great, but what does it matter if I’m not leaving the time to hear God speak into my life? Am I trying to do it all to earn something, to get somewhere? Because all that I need to heal my soul God wants to give me, just because I’m His, not because of all the things I’ve accomplished on my own. 

I’m going to try to implement a sabbath in my week. And not just the usual Sunday morning church & lunch and then thats it. I’m going to force myself to stop and listen to my Maker, and just be His. 

Friends...

…are overrated. Or so is the conclusion that I had arrived at a little while ago.

No, I don’t hold this view anymore. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends I could have ever asked for. In fact, when I come home I feel like I don’t even have enough time to see all of them. And there lies the problem. Yes, I have friends up in Seattle, I have a few wonderful friends. But the majority of my friends are scattered all over the place. Only during large holidays are we all in one place and able to reconnect.

I know that it life. You have friends who come and go. But thats the problem. It’s not that friends come and go, it’s that the friendships with them are in and out. Distance is hard. We all stay so busy. It’s hard to nurture the friendships I want to be able to nurture. I feel like most of the time I know the people I want to invest in so badly, but don’t do a good job at investing until I’m in the moment, in their presence. When I spend so much of my time apart from the people I care about the most, it makes things hard.

But, no matter what happens in life during the time that has passed, I still have these amazing people to connect with when we all return to our hometown. I value that so much. I’m blessed. And I love having these people in my life.

Empty

I feel empty.

Completely aware of the gaping void in my soul.

The void that can only be filled by God.

The hole had been covered over by different things in my life, things that only masked the need for something to fill it all the way to the deep.

But now, it’s there. Fully open and I’m once again aware of the pressing need to let myself be filled.

I desperately need to be filled by God, before different things in my life come and hide the urgency of the matter, again.

Lord, I’m tired of this emptiness in my soul. Please come fill me. Completely. Don’t allow me to let other things mask my intense need for you.

The end.....kinda

So I'm thinking I'm not going to be using this blog as much anymore. I transferred things over to wordpress and am going to give that a shot. So I will be mainly using my wordpress and tumblr from now on. Sp for those of you who care to still follow me:

followingafterfaith.wordpress.com
lifeinthismoment.tumblr.com

Sigh.....

Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.

Freud

I'm tired...

Tired of watching people I love hurt
Tired of seeing people I love in pain
Tired of living life in an environment of anxiety and frustration
Tired of living in fear of the future
Tired of living moment to moment not even knowing what the next minute could bring

Lord, please come soon
But while you still tarry, please give me the strength to hold on for five more minutes at a time
For You, because You are Worth it.

Most likely to....

• move to a foreign country while running from the law
• become a groupie
• marry a nerd
• save the world

Oh what my floor things of me.....
I'm going to miss these days.