Honesty

So I have my sights set on Jesus, and I know we will make it through everything He brings me through, and I'm sticking in for the long run. But that doesn't mean that I'm all happy and peachy about everything all the time. I wish I could be, but I'm not. I can't just say at the end of every day that I'm awesome and perfect. Most of the time I'm frustrated. Most of the time I don't understand. And I'm tired just thinking about what the future holds. That's the truth. I can't pretend everything feels fine now that I'm looking to Jesus for everything and I know this is the life He's given me. Yes, I've been so blessed with this life, but that doesn't mean that its not going to hurt and be hard. So I can't pretend every day that I'm wonderful, because I'm not. And that's just being honest.

Buckle Up

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." ~Romans 5:3-5

I feel as though the last three years have been nothing but moving from one storm to the next, often with several going on at once. Some huge, some not so huge, but each one difficult and life altering. I feel as though they have all come so close together there hasn't even been a "calm before the storm" experience. At first I simple didn't understand why it was all happening in my life. Next I wondered why it was all in my life while some people never experience storms in theirs. I've been frustrated, angry, confused, lost........

It was a long journey before I realized, who am I to question the path God has for my life? And I am not supposed to look at any one else's life and compare it to my own. All that matters is my choices and my reactions to the difficult storms. This is the life God has given me. I may only go straight from storm to storm for a season, of I may continue to live that way. But this is the life God has blessed me with. This is the life God has given me to use for His work. No amount of frustration or complaining can change it.

All there is for me to do now is set my sights on Jesus, buckle my seat belt, and proclaim that I am in it for the long run.

So, here I am Lord. Teach me and use me in these constant storms that I don't understand. I'm in it for the long run. I'm in it for You.

SPU.....wait, what?

Yes, I know it is a bit confusing. It was not that long ago that I announced to the world I would be attending APU. But the horrible unstable mess of CA's budget (mainly the insecurity of my Cal Grant) made me reconsider my decision. So I am now headed out of state. Seattle Pacific University.

This whole process has been pretty much nothing but stress. I never would have guessed things would have been this difficult. But that seems to be my life, nothing is EVER easy, even the small things. Whatever, I'm over it.

I had a tough time choosing one school in the first place. I loved both. So I guess SPU is where God wants me. I just wish He would have spoken up earlier in the process!

I was finally getting super excited about Azusa, so it has taken me a while to get used to the whole Seattle idea. I think I'll miss the sun a bit, maybe a tad more then a bit. But I am totally looking forward to the artsy feel of Seattle, the coffee, the music. I think I'll thrive there. I can't wait to wear all of my 20 something scarves....

Plus I just read that the Pacific Northwest is one of the most unchurched parts of the US. CEF of WA here I come!! ;)

I'm also looking forward to all of the ministry opportunities Seattle will provide. Seattle seems to be a bit of a "hot spot" for human trafficking in the US. Since that is the form of ministry I plan on going in to I'll will be a good place be.

I also think I'll like the quarter system. We shall see...

So thats where I am now. Finally settled in for sure I think. I hope.

SPU class of 2013
PoliSci/International Affairs